I’ve come to a point in my life where I must finally take the “next step.” I’ve grown both as a person and a writer, and I’ve come a long way from the first short story I wrote at nine years old. I’ve co-written and self-published an epic fantasy novel with my wife, of which I am damn proud. I’ve tackled internet marketing and tapped into the complex world of eBooks and lived to tell the tale. But there is one thing which I have yet to attempt—one thing over which I have fretted for the better part of two years. Now the time has come for me to do what it is I have neglected for so long.
It’s time I started writing again….
Bet you didn’t see that coming. I’m sure you’re wondering why a writer wouldn’t be writing. Unfortunately there is no simple answer to that question. We writers are a screwy bunch. Me, especially. You can argue that I’ve written this blog. Doesn’t that count? Technically, yes, but I would say no. A blog is more or less a passing thought someone wishes to express through writing in a brief article. It’s light-years apart from world building and breathing life into fictional characters.
Let’s get back to the original question. The best way to explain would be for me to return to the root of the problem: me. I’m a professional procrastinator with a grand fear of failing in the world of writing. I expect too much of myself and get easily distracted by finances and my day job. I spend WAY too much time promoting online, and not enough creating our world and its characters. I’m also a bit of a pessimist and am often overwhelmed by my wife’s uncanny ability to write. I could go on, but I don’t want to cry…just kidding.
Black Earth, the new trilogy we’ve been writing since 2006, is only thirty-four pages long to date. I’m not kidding. Thirty-four pages! Now it hasn’t taken us four years to write those few pages, but it sure feels that way. In all honesty, Black Earth was nearly completed about half a year ago. That was before we decided to start from scratch and rewrite the entire thing. That’s 1,000 pages down the drain in the blink of an eye. This is nothing new for anyone who writes, and most authors know that any book worth its weight in gold will go through many edits and rewrites. The problem is we didn’t think our first draft would end up in the trash bin. Editing is one thing, but wiped clean? It had to be done for the sake of quality.
Starting Black Earth from scratch was only one reason my writing hit a snag. I was already floundering for some time at that point. I’m a married co-author, and as much as I enjoy creating with Stef, I will admit that our different approaches to writing can cause problems, especially when one of us is more interested in the book than the other. Originally, Black Earth was never meant to be a book, let alone a trilogy. It was a short story idea Stef had years ago. She told it to me one day, and I saw the great its potential. We redirected our energy toward Black Earth. Little did I know how my life would change once we embarked upon this newest journey.
Almost from the outset I struggled with the characters and the plot. I loved the new direction we were taking, but I found myself somewhat disinterested in writing it. Most of the plot, subplots, and characters were Stef’s creations. It felt like her book, and the more I tried to fit my style and ideas into the story, the more uncomfortable I felt. Regardless, I’ll be the first to say that the first draft of the trilogy was some of the most provocative and intriguing writing we’ve ever done, but it wasn’t quite right. Even before we made the decision to rewrite, I had subconsciously limited my role to less than twenty percent. It was a dark time of endless self-doubt for me, and I’m still trapped in a bit of a fog.
But I’m a writer, dammit! A writer writes, and I am not about to give up. I love my wife, I love Secramore, and I love creating. So even with all of my pitfalls, I continue to climb out and force myself to be involved. It’s been hard, but I need to do this. Writing is very important to me, and I want our story to work.
So how will I do this? Things aren’t entirely fixed yet. My “recovery” is a work-in-progress. To return to form, I have to inspire my interest in Black Earth again. I have to make her story our story. I have to start this next chapter of my life. I have to write. In fact, I think that’s what I’m gonna do right now!
-Matt
It’s time I started writing again….
Bet you didn’t see that coming. I’m sure you’re wondering why a writer wouldn’t be writing. Unfortunately there is no simple answer to that question. We writers are a screwy bunch. Me, especially. You can argue that I’ve written this blog. Doesn’t that count? Technically, yes, but I would say no. A blog is more or less a passing thought someone wishes to express through writing in a brief article. It’s light-years apart from world building and breathing life into fictional characters.
Let’s get back to the original question. The best way to explain would be for me to return to the root of the problem: me. I’m a professional procrastinator with a grand fear of failing in the world of writing. I expect too much of myself and get easily distracted by finances and my day job. I spend WAY too much time promoting online, and not enough creating our world and its characters. I’m also a bit of a pessimist and am often overwhelmed by my wife’s uncanny ability to write. I could go on, but I don’t want to cry…just kidding.
Black Earth, the new trilogy we’ve been writing since 2006, is only thirty-four pages long to date. I’m not kidding. Thirty-four pages! Now it hasn’t taken us four years to write those few pages, but it sure feels that way. In all honesty, Black Earth was nearly completed about half a year ago. That was before we decided to start from scratch and rewrite the entire thing. That’s 1,000 pages down the drain in the blink of an eye. This is nothing new for anyone who writes, and most authors know that any book worth its weight in gold will go through many edits and rewrites. The problem is we didn’t think our first draft would end up in the trash bin. Editing is one thing, but wiped clean? It had to be done for the sake of quality.
Starting Black Earth from scratch was only one reason my writing hit a snag. I was already floundering for some time at that point. I’m a married co-author, and as much as I enjoy creating with Stef, I will admit that our different approaches to writing can cause problems, especially when one of us is more interested in the book than the other. Originally, Black Earth was never meant to be a book, let alone a trilogy. It was a short story idea Stef had years ago. She told it to me one day, and I saw the great its potential. We redirected our energy toward Black Earth. Little did I know how my life would change once we embarked upon this newest journey.
Almost from the outset I struggled with the characters and the plot. I loved the new direction we were taking, but I found myself somewhat disinterested in writing it. Most of the plot, subplots, and characters were Stef’s creations. It felt like her book, and the more I tried to fit my style and ideas into the story, the more uncomfortable I felt. Regardless, I’ll be the first to say that the first draft of the trilogy was some of the most provocative and intriguing writing we’ve ever done, but it wasn’t quite right. Even before we made the decision to rewrite, I had subconsciously limited my role to less than twenty percent. It was a dark time of endless self-doubt for me, and I’m still trapped in a bit of a fog.
But I’m a writer, dammit! A writer writes, and I am not about to give up. I love my wife, I love Secramore, and I love creating. So even with all of my pitfalls, I continue to climb out and force myself to be involved. It’s been hard, but I need to do this. Writing is very important to me, and I want our story to work.
So how will I do this? Things aren’t entirely fixed yet. My “recovery” is a work-in-progress. To return to form, I have to inspire my interest in Black Earth again. I have to make her story our story. I have to start this next chapter of my life. I have to write. In fact, I think that’s what I’m gonna do right now!
-Matt
